How can it be that simple? Why can’t it be that simple? You got the push and the distance to see it go with ease. You wrote that I should not take sh*t from no one, not even bleh blah blah and so on. If only I went through with it. I saw the route I am on for what it is, but when do you call it quits? I gave myself ultimatums up, down, left and right. I guess I’ll just take things blatantly for what I see.

It was written on my sleeve.

I gave people what they wanted and tolerated their indecency. I kept my mouth shut and only let my curiosity do the talking and prying. I watched people trip, skid and falter to the inevitable suffering of their own actions. I just wonder who is watching me without my knowledge of them doing so.

Due to my laziness I have been getting up late for school. I end up every morning blasting out the door to the car and then walking like a mad man just to get through the door of first period. I think my first period teacher doesn’t care if we are late since there was this one time. It was raining which totally bummed me out because by the time I reached my seat in 1^st my shoes were drenched. I didn’t even notice I walked over deep puddles. At the corner of the door I saw my teacher walk to the door and he was about to close it. Well I though he closed it, but he didn’t. I was cussing under my breath and I thought I might as well drop my stuff off first and then get a tardy pass so I closed my umbrella and walked to the door, I looked up and he was there. Wide eyed like the way a deer is caught in headlights. It was the most awkward and tense moment ever in my life. Well in school terms of course. Now it is so weird to make eye contact and what not. I wished I had not cussed near the door as I made my way in because you can hear everything from that door. Asdfghjkl!

Took the ACT today. It was quite interesting. I love taking tests at random schools especially since I get to see different people. There was this one person though. Only if you sat next to me, but you came in late. Then there was this one girl who looked like she ate a bad apple. It was like she was about to barf. At least smile. You will feel better.

In other news. I have been trippin’ balls over UC apps. Must stay positive. Gahhhh! People be always askin’ where you be going and shizzz. Ughhhh. I know where I want to go, but I don’t want to take the time to have to explain it over and over again.

Lately I have been catching my ex staring at me. There have been multiple times where I felt that I needed to clean up the mess I made, but then again you said it yourself that we left off on good terms. I don’t know what’s up with you and your current relationship, but it’s depressing to see you sad. There was that one day at the dance not too long ago, where I was walking around and you were wiping tears from your eyes. That did it for me. I just took a straight line and walked outside to the courtyard. I didn’t know whether to take you away from him or just let it be and let you guys talk it out, but hearing from your friends, it’s not too good. Well I’ll be seeing you on Halloween. Maybe I’ll actually try to talk to you casually. I don’t want to graduate high school knowing that I just dropped a relationship and ran. We said we were still going to be friends so lets make that happen. I guess. I suppose. Well maybe.

I haven’t wrote anything in quite awhile now that I’m a senior. Yesterday I had a sad moment to myself as I ate my sushi about how close my high school years are coming to a close. So sad. My thoughts of last year.

My junior year was quite a year. The previous years it was my parents that stressed me out with expectations and whatnot, but this year it was other people outside of home. People didn’t know what they want and I was one of them, but unlike them I kept it to myself. I got frustrated running around in circles with what people tell me to do and I’ve noticed that I tended to keep myself away from other people’s problems. I really don’t know what to think of this past school year. There wasn’t really anything memorable. I just did this and that, but there is nothing I am greatly proud of. I mean my grades are shit compared to the other years and it bums me out. I certainly did a lot more this year as in terms of putting myself out there. It was a love and hate situation for my summer days though. Felt like I ran up a wall, but it was worth it in the end.

Memorable quote from my 2011-2012 school year:

“It happens during a special moment for guys…… called ejaculation. It helps get the job done. If the release of this suddenly stops……it’s like when your about to shoot…..but then the mom walks in.” *laughter

LOL! My anatomy/physiology teacher was explaining about homeostasis and the hormone oxytocin. Hilarious.

Now off to the final year of high school!

*Le sigh Maybe I was too naïve to think I can do this. During the school year I was given an internship in relation to computers. I had only learned the bare minimum and basic skills for the task given to me, but the teacher believed I can do it. She explained it was really simple and all I had to do this and that, but soon I found myself scrambling to find answer on how to do things which were beyond my capability and was not the simple she explained to me. I came across a bunch of ruts and ditches and I safely got out each time, but it has built up to the point where I see it as meaning less and mostly too time consuming. In all honesty, your company is shieet and you people are so rude. I just ended up calling it off. I mean this isn’t too bad right. I am still in high school and I see myself as a kid, but the world doesn’t. Part of me wants to end it while the other doesn’t. It’s not like I’m going to pursue this area of field in the future. One thing I did learn though is that this is not for me and it can just stay as a hobby or it is and I was just not ready.